Check the results at Challonge or down below.
Welcome to the first annual Löwen Games! All Wesen species who appeared in or were mentioned/seen in the Grimm diaries only in "Pilot" though "Mommy Dearest" were eligible to compete. Also eligible were a human, an Endezeichen Grimm, comic Wesen, and novel Wesen. Non-Wesen beings were not eligible to compete.
- If you die, you lose.
- If you win, you live to fight another day.
- We are not responsible for band-aids or pain relievers. And if you get blinded, zombified, enchanted, or poisoned, toughen up.
- We'll feed you. And taze you.
Selection Sunday (March 16)
Referee-reporters were chosen. These people let us know the outcome of all the matches by deciding who would win and wrote a brief synopsis of the match.
Matches were assigned to each referee-reporter using a random number generator to help keep things balanced.
Sweet 16 to the End Bracket
|Sweet 16||Elite 8||Final 4||Championship|
First 28 (March 18-19)
This morning Löwen from all over the nation gathered to witness the first match of the 2014 Löwen Games. In one corner, an Eisbiber bared his teeth. In the other corner, the light reflected off the scales of a Waage.
The First Fourteen matches are designed to weed out the worst of the 78 competing Wesen so the final rounds become progressively more exciting to watch. Of course, it's fun seeing an Eisbiber getting torn apart by a Waage. But admit it, it's more fun to watch the standoff between two champions. That's why the teams are seeded the way they are, so that the champions don't meet up with each other until the end.
The Eisbiber lasted approximately 42 seconds before having his face eaten off by the hungry Waage. On Thursday, the Waage will face the mighty Dämonfeuer. A close cousin, the Dämonfeuer is armed with pyrotechnics that will make for a splendid display of power.
Fuchsbau vs. Wütende Taube
|“|| I do not think that all participants appreciate the seriousness of the event.
We have just witnessed a example of such frivolity. The Fuchsbau entered the arena wearing a cloak, from beneath which he produced several sheets of ready-made pastry! While fending off the attacks by the lone Wütende Tuabe with one arm he laid the sheets out, then with one swift bite to the neck the Wütende Taube was on the pastry. The Fuchsbau finished wrapping him, and then asked where the oven was.
|“|| Both contestants are far out of their element in this match up. On one hand, the Kasipepo: known for its ability to run extremely fast, it will have very little space to sprint. On the other, the Luisant-Pêcheur: there will be no water available in this competition, so place your bets assuming this is a slightly less timid Eisbiber. Begin!
The Kasipepo begins by immediately sprinting directly at the otter Wesen. Ooh, that looked like it hurt! The Luisant-Pecheur is rolling on the ground in pain after knocking his head against the bars. Wait, what's this? The Kasipepo is kicking him while he's down! Such dirty fighting will not be condoned... er, sorry, condemned, in these games. After a final blow to the stomach and a wretched retch from the otter, the Kasipepo wins!
Malin Fatal vs. Glühenvolk
|“|| At last a proper fight. I think that the Malin Fatal thought that this would be easy. How wrong he was.
The Malin Fatal made its traditional head lowered attack towards the opponents chest, when the Glühenvolk dropped to the floor and rolled out of the way, grabbing an arm on the way past. Using a wrestling move the shoulder was dislocated and the Glühenvolk showed its inexperience as the Malin Fatal span round and using its fangs slashed open the Glühenvolk's leg. The Malin Fatal then charged again, the Glühenvolk, hampered by its injured keg, attempted to dodge out of the way but was only partially successful taking a cut across the upper chest, however a forearm across the back of the neck caused the Malin Fatal to strike its head against the cage bars stunning it. The Glühenvolk then threw its arms around the Malin Fatal's neck in a choke hold. This is now a test of strength between the neck of the Malin Fatal and the arms of the Glühenvolk. The Malin Fatal is attempting to strike the injured leg of the Glühenvolk, who is hopping in a circle to shield its leg whilst maintaining the choke hold and simultaneously trying to strike the dislocated arm with its hip. The Malin Fatal stands upright, with the Glühenvolk's arms still around its throat, what a mistake to make, the Glühenvolk pulls its good leg in the middle of the Malin Fatal's back and jerks backwards. The crack of the Malin Fatal's back was audible three rows back.
Victory for the Glühenvolk, but with that blood loss I don't think the Koschie will have a problem.
Rotznasig Carcaju vs.
|“|| This fight looks like it has an obvious outcome. Not only is the wolverine Wesen a ferocious, snot-nosed monster (well, sort of), but this unlucky Mauzhertz owes Sauly multiple debts from their old poker nights. The odds will likely be slightly bent. Begin!
The wolverine Wesen immediately woges and bares his claws, snorting and looking fierce. The mouse Wesen cowers and woges in fear, shrinking away into the bars at his back. The Carcaju strides forward, quickly closing the small distance between the two as the Mauzhertz attempts to scurry away. The Rotznasig Carcaju swipes at the Mauzhertz, catching him across the back and sending him sprawling. Standing over the weak mouse, the wolverine looks to the Löwen at his side, for a signal. The Löwen's thumb is already down, his face a mask of impatience. With a quick thrust, the match is finished.
Victory for Rotznasig Carcaju, and it's fully physically fit for its next match.
Gefrierengeber vs. Weasel Wesen
|“|| This match was a quick one, with the Gefrierengeber down in 31 seconds. The weasel Wesen had more tricks up his sleeve than the Gefrierengeber was ready for.
"I can't believe they even bothered including the Gefrierengeber in these games. It's not like he stood a chance or anything," said one spectator. "But I guess it was fun to watch him get owned by a weakling."
On Thursday the weasel will face the Jinnamuru Xunte, and will likely finish either dead or blind.
|“|| Well that was a waste of time.
The Seltenvogel sat down in the middle of the arena and tapped out while shouting "I surrender!" The Scharfblicke pushed the Seltenvogel over and put one foot on its chest and waited for the victory to be acknowledged.
|“|| Early this morning, a Nilpferd victory had fans roaring with pleasure. The Genio Innocuo matched against it proved no match at all for this heavyweight fighter, and he was smitten with pleasure.
The Nilpferd will advance onto the Round of 64 on Friday to face the Murciélago.
|“|| In what could be the first round match up with the two strongest Wesen, the Drang-Zorn — known for it's long claws, short temper, and powerful bite — faces the Stangebär — a spine-armored porcupine Wesen. Unlike many other first round contestants, these ones look ready to go! Begin!
The two contestants woge and spend the first seconds staring coldly at one another. The Stangebär takes the first steps forward, and the Drang-Zorn bares his teeth and begins to circle the Stangebär. Suddenly the Drang-Zorn darts forward, trying to dig his long claws into the chest of the Stangebär, who parries away with his sharp arm. The Drang-Zorn grimaces in pain but does not falter. With his arms crossed, the Stangebär charges towards the badger, who barely scrambles out of the way and falls as he is caught across his legs. It looks over for the fallen badger, as the porcupine Wesen stands over him, preparing for the final blow. But wait! As the Stangebär leans over the Drang-Zorn, the badger Wesen quickly sends his claws into the exposed underside of the porcupine, and proceeds to reach up and bite him in the chest, shaking the dazed Wesen roughly until he woges out of his Wesen form and limply falls to the floor. Match finished!
Chinese Dragon Wesen vs.
|“|| Well well, look what the mouse dragged in. A rat. And... uhh, I'm not sure. A rare Wesen that I've never seen before. Some kinda... I don't know, dragon-lizardish thing? It's got a tail and some crazy hair spikes or something. Intimidating? Definitely, at least for our little rat in this corner. Begin!
Dayum! This dragon Wesen is giving out a beating! Using her long tail, the Reinigen has no choice but to let his face be repeatedly smacked back and forth. After a small break in the barrage of booty , the Reinigen manages to grab the tail and bite it with all its might. The dragon Wesen lets off a roar of pain, and flings the Reinigen against the steel bars of the cage. Game over.
Skalengeck vs. Musai
|“|| This afternoon the Musai caught several spectators off-guard as she plunged headfirst into the fight. A bite on the Skalengeck's face became a kiss, and suddenly the Skalengeck was overcome with an urge to protect her from the fans. He met certain doom when he back into her sword.
The Musai will advance to the next round on Friday, when she will face the Cracher-Mortel for some serious mouth-to-mouth combat.
|“|| Unbelievable scenes here at the arena!
In a piece of blatant chicanery a small group of unknown Wesen wrapped the lower part of the fighting rink with a waterproof sheet while a suspiciously burst pipe filled the arena with water. During this time The Naiad combatant, Caspian, kept running away from the human. When the water reached a suitable height he woged and held his opponent underwater until he drowned!
A Stewards inquiry could find nothing in the rules banning such behavior, although Sauly has not been seen since the end of the fight.
|“|| We apologize for the inconvenience. Unfortunately, live coverage of the match was not possible, so here is a short recap:
The match between the Waschbar and the Faeteo fatalis was short. Unfortunately for the skunk Wesen, the Waschbar (along with half of the audience in attendance) was given a pair of nose plugs—eliminating the skunk's only advantage. With that gone, the raccoon had no problem using its ferocity to dispatch of its first enemy. Victory: Waschbar.
|“|| One of the more humorous matches we've seen, the fans were reeling as they watched a Spinnetod pour her digestive juices down the throat of a helpless Seelengut. As an added bonus, fans were allowed to view the Spinnetod feeding on her prey. "That's something you just don't see every day," said one spectator. "It's like...a National Geographic moment...in person. So real!"
The Spinnetod is chalked against a Mauvais Dentes on Friday. Fans are already raving about the possibility of seeing a Mauvais Dentes killed from the inside out.
Round of 64 (March 20-21)
Dämonfeuer vs. Waage
|“|| This match looks heavily weighed in favor of the dragon Wesen. With its ability to breath fire, the Waage would seem to be unable to match such a powerful Wesen. The clearly confident Dämonfeuer strides into the circle, spitting a stream of fire up into the air and causing the crowd to roar in applause. This is one of the front-runners to win the tournament! Now the Waage walks in from the other side — carrying a shield and pike! Clearly the Löwen are trying to even up the odds and create a more entertaining match. Begin!
As the Waage raises its pike, the Dämonfeuer coughs rapidly and ignites his fire, causing it to combust and forcing the worried Waage backwards. Before it can recover, the Dämonfeuer jumps forward and knocks the Waage's pike away, before being shoved backwards by the Waage's push of her shield. The Dämonfeuer recovers, but before it can attack again it is slammed on the side of the head by the shield. Dazed, he tries to cough up his fire as he grapples with the Waage, and manages to ignite it, badly burning the Waage and propelling him away from the dragon Wesen. The dragon moves to stand over the Waage and looks over to the Löwen, waiting for the thumbs-down. But as he does this, the Waage desperately reaches for the abandoned pike, grabs it, and plunges it deep into the unsuspecting Dämonfeuer's stomach! The Waage wins!
Balam vs. Klaustreich
|“||This was one of the best matches of the tournament so far. Both opponents got multiple punches, claws, and bites on the other. After 10 minutes of fighting, the Balam started to gain control of the fight. She got multiple quick punches and claw slashes in a row, knocking the Klaustreich to the ground. But she made a fatal mistake. She tried pumping up the crowd before she finished the hurt Klaustreich off and while she was doing this, the Klaustreich used his legs to trip the Balam and quickly pounced on her and slashed her throat with his claws.||”|
|“|| Due to an accident yesterday involving an angry Siegbarste, this match had to be postponed until today so a new cage could be erected.
It was a late night fight, but the spectators were just as energized as ever for this match between a dragon and a gator.
The Trasque's venomous barbed tail was no match for the Gelumcaedus's scutes. Before long, the Gelumcaedus had the upper hand-- or jaw, rather, as he crushed the neck of the Trasque and claimed his first victory in the tournament.
The Gelumcaedus will not be allowed a rest day and is expected to fight the Skalenzahne tomorrow in a much-anticipated match.
|“|| Tonight I am pleased to present a very special guest - former Champion of the Arena, Dimitri Skontos, who was broken out of prison just to be here. His opponent is a Coyotl who is just as mean without his pack.
Dimitri charges his opponent as soon as the ref says “go”. The stunned Coyotl gets a nasty flail to the ribs that is sure to leave a bruise. Even though he’s on the ground the Coyotl is still able to go on the offensive by taking a bite out of Dimitri’s bad ankle. Both contestants have dropped their equipment and are on the ground now rolling back and forth, going at it tooth and claw. There’s an explosion and a member of the audience has fallen down dead, oh well, no one liked him anyway. It seems that the Coyotl was able to smuggle in an illegal hand-gun that has been sent flying across the arena by Dimitri. In a last effort, Dimitri grabs his flail from the ground and shoves it down his opponent’s throat. This tactic will earn him some bite-marks along with a spot in the next round.
|“||In a seemingly one-sided battle, the ancient Manticore battles the cunning Fuchsbau. Sure enough, the Fuchsbau's wit was not enough to prevail against the battle-hardened Manticore, a Wesen known for its reputation of warriors. The combination of the Manticore's vicious killing strike — a rapid stab to the chest with it's long scorpion tail — combined with the annoyance from the Fuchsbau's antics in the previous round led the celebration of the crowd to be even more thunderous at the sight of death than usual. Victory to the Manticore!||”|
Raub-Kondor vs. Yaguaraté
|“|| The clever Raub-Kondor's claws were not fast enough for the Yaguaraté's rapid pounce. Talons and fangs slashed at one another in the brawl, and the Yaguaraté came out on top.
The Yaguaraté will have no resting day and will move onto the next round tomorrow versus the Manticore.
Hadosheru vs. Kasipepo
|“||Many thought this could be a good fight with the Kasipepo using speed and the Hadosheru having great protection with its exoskeleton and it having the ability to fly. This was the Hadosheru's first fight of the games and it wasn't entirely sure what to expect. Once the fight began, it immediately sprouted its wings and flew as the Kasipepo tried to use its speed for a quick attack. The Hadosheru flew around the arena as the Kasipepo tried to move around to avoid getting picked up. The Hadosheru managed to snatch up the Kasipepo after it tripped and it planned to fly high in the air and drop it to the hard ground below. Before it was able to get too high, the Kasipepo used its claws and clawed out the Hadosheru's eyes. It dropped the Kasipepo about 15 feet and it also crashed in pain. The Kasipepo hurt its legs and ribs in the fall, but limped over to the Hadosheru stumbling around and blindly swinging its arms. The Kasipepo got behind the Hadosheru, painfully climbed on its back, and pulled the protonotum off from its upper back with the help of a major adrenaline rush, where it used its claws and teeth to tear up the Hadosheru's soft skin. The Hadosheru tried to fight back, but it was no use. The Kasipepo eventually dug too deep into the Hadosheru's body leading to a slow, painful death.||”|
|“|| The crowd aren't very happy about this match, The Wildermann is at least eighteen inches taller than the female Jägerbar.
The Wildermann slaps her on the face causing her to stumble and follows up with an ankle kick to drop her to the ground. As he advances she rolls away and she seems to be woging some more. She has just transformed into a Kodiak Bear! The Wildermann looks worried and well he should be, as the bear advances and bats his head with one huge paw, the Wildermann is obviously stunned and she follows up by grasping him appropriately enough in a bear hug and crushes him into unconsciousness or death.
|“||The Glühenvolk isn’t feeling too well after his first fight. His leg has gotten infected and he is feeling the effects of losing too much blood. The Koschie is starting off the fight by messing with him. Every time the Glühenvolk attacks, the Koschie quickly dodges, often causing the Glühenvolk to fall to the ground dizzily. After 5 minutes of messing around, the Koschie grabs the Glühenvolk’s wrist and starts infecting the Glühenvolk with radiation. The Glühenvolk tries to fight back, but the blood loss has weekend him and mixed with the infection to the leg, he succumbs to the radiation poisoning fairly quickly.||”|
|“|| The Shnabeltiermörder has several heads turning for sure! Most Löwen haven't seen one before; this is a rare glimpse for them. The Höllentier pounces, and tackles the Shnabeltiermörder, who claws back. But it's too late, the Höllentier's jaws sink into the Shnabeltiermörder's abdomen.
The Höllentier, though wounded (rumor has it the Shnabeltiermörder may transmit venom through its claws), will advance to the next round without rest tomorrow, versus the Koschie.
|“|| We are in for a treat in this matchup. The Löwen managed to capture not just any Hässlich, but a Reaper no less. That's right: this Hässlich has killed a Grimm. To be honest, there is very little to expect for the Rotznasig Carcaju, despite a strong showing in the preliminary round. Begin!
The battle starts with a furious charge from the Hasslich. Ooh, that was brutal! The wolverine was too late to react, and is barreled into and slammed into the bars. Desperately it tries to weaken the iron vice of the Reaper's arms by biting hard on its shoulder, but the Hasslich literally shrugs off the pain (along with few of the Rotznasig Carcaju's teeth). With one final squeeze, a large crack is heard — and the short match is finished.
Minotaur vs. Hexenbiest
|“|| Well the Hexenbiest is playing to the crowd.
She has not woged and is dancing round the arena using her shirt as a matador would use a cloak in a bullfight (She has T-shirt on for all you Hays Code aficionados). The Minotaur is getting angrier and angrier, especially as he has just butted the arena bars.
Success for the Minotaur, he has connected with the Hexenbiest, but she rolls with the blow. She drops her shirt, woges and adopts a crouching stance. The Minotaur charges and she sidesteps and grabs his horns, levering herself onto his back. Anyone who has seen bull riding at the rodeo can imagine what this looks like, every time the Minotaur tries to stand she throws him off balance by twisting his head. She is definitely playing to the crowd here. The Minotaur now lies on the ground attempting to dislodge her, but she keeps hold of his horns and with a sharp twist of her shoulders, breaks his neck.
Jinnamuru Xunte vs.
|“|| It seems rather inevitable the Jinnamuru Xunte, feared by all, should beat the weasel. Well, that's precisely what happened. The fly man breathed sand into the face of the weasel man, and the weasel shrieked in pain. Shortly afterward, the fly picked up his sword, which had until then been on the floor, and drove it through the brains of the weasel.
The Jinnamuru Xunte is to advance to the next round tomorrow with no rest day, though we're quite convinced he wouldn't have needed the resting day anyway. He will be facing an El Cucuy.
Rißfleisch vs. El Cucuy
|“|| A Banker bites the dust.
Most of the spectators only know about Rißfleisch by reputation, and only some of the Spanish speakers have even heard of El Cucuy. Rißfleisch prowls the arena edge while El Cucuy sits in the middle apparently doing a "word search" type puzzle. Rißfleisch circles twice more before launching himself at her from the arena edge with a prodigious leap at the El Cucuy's back. As soon as his feet leave the ground, the El Cucuy became a blur of movement, sliding on her back towards Rißfleisch, as she passed underneath him her claws ripped open his abdomen. Pushing his body to one side, El Cucuy stood up and went over to collect her puzzle book.
|“|| That was a totally unexpected result!
The match started with the Siegbarste glowering at the Scharfblicke, and the turning to the referee and shouting "you promised me a fight! I could beat that budgie if I had died three years ago." While he was raging the Scharfblicke slithered on its stomach towards the Siegbarste and tapped him on the ankle. The Siegbarste span round, punching the air, and then looked down to see the Scharfblicke, who indicated that he wanted to whisper something. The Siegbarste leaned down warily and listened to the Scharfblicke, then he stood up and laughed. Both then retreated to opposite sides of the arena and counted down from five. On five they charged at each other, the Siegbarste grabbed the Scharfblicke's arm and threw him into the arena wall just by the door in front of the Löwen referee. The Scharfblicke hung on the arena side for a short time and then collapsed to the ground. As the Siegbarste approached, the door opened! The Siegbarste sprinted to the arena edge and pulled the Löwen referee into the arena, throwing him to the opposite side of the arena. As the Siegbarste charged towards the Löwen the arena door swung shut. The Löwen sidestepped the charge and headed for the door, but the Siegbarste stuck out his arm and caught him across the throat, knocking him backwards. Meanwhile, the other Löwen realized that the only key to the arena is in his pocket, and they are unable to help. The Siegbarste slapped the Löwen around the arena for a good ten minutes, all the time complaining about a lack of opposition. The Siegbarste eventually put the Löwen, who never really recovered from being slammed against the arena wall when pulled into the ring, out of his misery with a tremendous punch to the chest which seems to have fractured his spine. After couple of stomps to the body (just to make sure) the Siegbarste goes over to the huddled Scharblicke, to discover some balloons under its duster. After ensuring that the Scharfblicke is indeed missing the Siegbarste turns towards the door where the other Löwen tell him that the key can be found in the shirt pocket of the Löwen in the arena and assure him of a proper opponent next time.
When the stewards reviewed the tapes it was revealed that the Scharfblicke snuck out of the arena while the Siegbarste was charging the Löwen, leaving his rapidly inflating duster behind and closing the door. A small group of unknown Wesen then left the hall with the Scharfblicke hidden in the middle of their group.
This farrago probably explains why Sauly was laying (betting against) the Löwen.
Sauly is currently somewhere warm attended by several young, nubile female Mauzhertz.
|“||This was a very quick and uneven match. The Mordstier was unfairly bigger and stronger, and took less than a minute before using his horns to stab the body of the poor Mellifer, killing her almost instantly. Even after he won, the Mordstier continued to use his hooves to stomp the body of the Mellifer.||”|
|“||After a long delay in the fighting, this fight finally got under way. The disappointing thing was that it was very quick. The Murciélago immediately used her shriek to shatter the Nilpferd's eardrums, pop his eyeballs, rupture his nasal passages, and explode his bowels. The shriek also took out some of the audience members who didn't come prepared.||”|
|“|| If you are going climb, do it quickly.
Geier took one look at Schakal and turned to climb the cage, guess he did not know that Schakal can jump, as with one tremendous leap Schakal was on his back pulling him of the wall and nuzzling his neck with relish.
Königschlange vs. Pflichttreue
|“|| As a special treat for the patient crowd this match has been added to the days schedule.
Königschlange starts by staring at Pflichttreue and flicking his tongue around his fangs, causing droplets of venom to appear, which using his tongue he flicks towards Pflichttreue, who tries to dodge, but fails. Königschlange then starts his swaying movement, and as expected Pflichttreue's eyes follow the movement. The crowd know what is about to happen, and sure enough Königschlange flows from swaying into a strike forward towards the body of Pflichttreue leading with his head, fangs bared, arms spread to envelop and restrain to allow for multiple bites. As he lands on Pflichttreue they both fall to the ground, Königschlange's bite did not connect so with one arm pinning Königschlange he draws back his shoulders ready to strike again, when he lets out a tremendous scream. When Königschlange crashed into Pflichttreue and bore him to the ground, Pflichttreue's right arm was apparently protecting his groin, but in reality the hand was palm out, and he has just castrated Königschlange. As Königschlange writhes in agony, Pflichttreue frees his left arm and slashes Königschlange's throat. He then extricates himself from under the body and stands up winded, but uninjured.
Endezeichen Grimm vs.
|“|| This is another very special match. It's been a full two years since a Grimm has stood in the cage. That match, unfortunately, ended a victory for all three contenders in the ring-- the Skalenzahne, Blutbad, and Grimm-- and a defeat for the Löwen-- when the police turned up and shut down the establishment and the games.
Two years later, we bring you a new Grimm-- one that actually is a Grimm and isn't afraid to take on a contender. We had to pay him a nice sum of money, but we're confident he won't last through to the end.
What a disappointment! The Krampus doesn't seem to be woging! Oh, well...the Grimm can't woge, either, so this will be a test of Grimm powers versus human powers.
"What are you?" shouts the Grimm. "What is this!" shouts the Krampus. Oh dear, both are clueless.
Encouraging tazers prompt the the drugged Grimm and Krampus to begin striking at one another. The Krampus misjudges a blow to the Grimm's pelvis as the Grimm dodges out of the way and does a 360 pivot, knocking the Krampus on the floor. He bends down and uses both hands to crack the neck of the Krampus in a direction previously unheard of.
The Grimm will advance to the quarterfinals tomorrow with no resting day.
|“|| Blink and you missed it.
Drang-Zorn advanced with teeth bared and claws extended. Wldesheer stood on Drang-Zorn's feet, put his hands to either side of Drang-Zorn's head and twisted sharply, almost decapitating him. The crowd were not happy with such a brief fight, indeed it took less than 5 seconds from closing door to dead Drang-Zorn.
|“|| The Steinadler entered the cage with a shield, the Blutbad with a flail. It seemed obvious who would win.
As it would happen, the Steinadler is keener than we expected. He apparently is well-versed in medieval combat and knows quite well how a flail works-- and doesn't work. Using that knowledge to his advantage, he carefully maneuvered with the shield far enough from his body that the flail missed every time it swung around the edge of the shield.
After several go arounds, the Steinadler tripped the Blutbad, who landed with the flail in the front of his skull.
Chinese Dragon Wesen
|“|| Hello and welcome to the first of this evening's fights.
The battle will be between the Chinese Dragon Wesen and a Nuckelavee. The Chinese Dragon looks like she is going to use the same tactic as before with tail slaps to the face and head. The difference this time, is that she is facing a Nuckelavee, not a Reinigen. After two slaps the Nuckelavee uses his forearm to block the tail, striking on the bite wound and steps inside the tail arc to land a roundhouse kick to the Chinese Dragon's kidneys. She screams in pain and whirls round to face the Nuckelavee, only to meet his fist in her face, stunning her. The Nuckelavee follows up with a flurry of head and body punches and down she goes. Cautiously the Nuckelavee puts his knee on her throat, then realizes that she is unconscious. He decides not to kill her and stands up. Until the referee signals the end of the fight the Nuckelavee crouches by her head, obviously prepared for a late strike.
|“||This ended up being a fairly quick fight. Both competitors got in a few punches and kicks, but then the Dickfellig decided he had, had enough, and chased the Bauerschwein around the cage until he pierced the Bauerschwein's back with his big horn. The Bauerschwein collapsed to the ground in agony and the Dickfellig stepped on the Bauerschwein's throat and crushed it.||”|
|“||It ended as fast as it began! The Musai is down and out, with green stuff in her face.||”|
|“||The Hundjager was more than a match for the leech-like Wesen. While both were taken from the streets, one was a Verrat agent while the other was a homeless drug addict. Using the training that makes the Hundjäger so feared among the Wesen community, the hound Wesen ruthlessly dispatched of the lethargic leech.||”|
Sorglosgör vs. Naiad
|“|| This became even more of a mismatch than it looked on paper.
The Sorglosgör's only ability is its youthful appearance, but this one was obviously not blessed with their reputed intelligence. All of you know the type of brattish behavior that some children perform, but to insult the Naiad about the results on his assignation with Hexenbiest raised stupidity to a whole new level. Naiad grabbed hold of the Sorglosgör by the ear and removed his pants. He then proceeded to emasculate the Sorglosgör with his sharp teeth. While asking the Sorglosgör what happened to his smart mouth, Naiad watched him bleed out.
|“||The fight started off with the Ziegevolk getting a quick headbutt in with his horns, knocking the Wendigo to the ground. The Ziegevolk then began kicking the Wendigo, but the Wendigo got a hold of one of the Ziegevolk's feet and took him to the ground. The Wendigo then grabbed one of the Ziegevolk's hands and used his long teeth to bite it off. He did the same to the other one and watched the Ziegevolk scream in pain. He proceeded to bite off the Ziegevolk's feet. The Ziegevolk eventually lost too much blood and died while the Wendigo left the arena to go make dinner with the Ziegevolk's hands and feet.||”|
|“||Another lopsided match as the Waschbar stood no chance. The match only lasted as long as it did because the Waschbar was running around the arena, but it was inevitable, and the Fuchsteufelwild got to the Waschabar, and used his long nails to cut the Waschbar in half.||”|
|“|| I think that the crowd were expecting a quick fight, but once again, the arena surprises us all.
The Aswang took one look at the Lausenschlange and climbed the arena wall, to a height of about twelve feet. The Lausenschlange started shaking the cage wall in an attempt to dislodge the Aswang. From her perch the Aswang flicked her tongue towards the Lausenschlange's head striking him in the left eye. The Lausenschlange reeled back in pain and the Aswang scuttled round the cage anticlockwise. The Lausenschlange took off one of his shoes and threw it at the Aswang, in an attempt to dislodge it. Because of its limited vision the shoe hit the wall behind the Aswang. The Aswang then rapidly span round and fired its tongue right at the Lausenschlange's right eye completely blinding the Lausenschlange. Aswang then carefully climbed down and using its tongue caused bleeding in both the confused Lausenschlange's ears deafening him. After several more tongue strikes to the face and head of the Lausenschlange, Aswang leapt on his back and using her claws slit his throat.
Mauvais Dentes vs.
|“|| Due to a unforeseen computer error, this report was delayed.
Anyone expecting to see a Mauvais Dentes eaten from the inside, was sadly disappointed. As Spinnetod advanced Mauvais Dentes landed a brutal punch right on her jaw, instantly breaking it,because of the angle of impact he avoided impaling his fist on her chelicerae. Using his speed of foot and hand Mauvais Dentes was able to keep clear of Spinnetod's arms while inflicting painful scratches all over her body. When the crowd started calling for a result, Mauvais Dentes struck her on the temple with the back of his hand knocking her to the ground. It is not known whether this blow killed her, or just rendered her unconscious.
|“|| The Taureus-Armenta paws at the floor and his eyes glow red. The Frosch Schleimig develops claws and turns bright purple with black stripes.
The Taureus charges, and the Frosch hops out of his path, landing on his back, and digging his claws into the Taureus. Mucous drips from the Frosch's pores, and the Taureus wails in pain as it throws him off its back. Stunned, the Frosch remains on the ground in agony as the Taureus charges at him and does him in with a gore attack.
The Taureus will advance to the quarterfinals tomorrow.
Round of 32 (March 22-23)
Waage vs. Klaustreich
|“||Both competitors came into the fight in bad shape after their previous fights, but the burns the Waage suffered proved to be too much as she could hardly move. She tried to fight, but the Klaustreich limped up to her and slashed her throat with his claws ending the fight. He better hope his next opponent is in as bad of shape as the Waage was or he will be in trouble.||”|
Gelumcaedus vs. Skalenzhane
|“|| The Gelumcaedus and Skalenzahne walked in rings for several seconds as they sized one another up. Practically the same, these scalies are well-matched for each other. The only clear advantage is that the Skalenzahne has rested before this match, whereas the Gelumcaedus has not.
Snap! The Skalenzahne seems to have the advantage, as the Gelumcaedus's reaction is delayed.
Moments later, the Skalenzahne has claimed its gruesome defeat over its rival. He will advance to the Sweet Sixteen on Thursday.
Manticore vs. Yaguaraté
|“|| Looking at Yaguaraté's condition a quick fight was expected and so it was.
Yaguaraté shuffles into the arena clutching his chest, in order to extend the fight he has been provided with a shield and a cestus. Manticore prowls round the arena watching, and noticing that Yaguaraté seems more restricted on his left side. After a few feints with his tail forcing Yaguaraté into the center of the arena he goes for the chest strike only for his tail spike to be impaled on Yaguaraté's shield. As he withdrew the spike Yaguaraté released his shield unbalancing Manticore, while he was off balance Yaguaraté pounced and landed a vicious kidney punch with his cestus encased hand. Manticore threw his head backwards exposing his throat to Yaguaraté's claws. As he strode away from the dead Manticore, Yaguaraté winced and grabbed his chest. He is definitely wounded, just not as badly as it seemed.
|“|| This will be a very exciting match. A very sore Kasipepo versus a bruised and bloody Jägerbar looks like a real crowd pleaser. In the Kasipepo's previous match, it defeated the Hadosheru — a Wesen who was originally considered to be a top contender — in a major upset, and fortunately was not severely injured. For the Jägerbar, she defeated a Wildermann in an even match that only ended when she fully woged into a brown bear, swiftly silencing the surprised Sasquatch. In the beginning of the tournament one would judge the Jägerbar to be the victor, but the Kasipepo has proven to be a strong and cunning contender in the cage. Begin!
The tired Wesen are not quick to begin, and it takes them a second to start moving towards each other as they try to gain an advantage. The Jägerbar tries to swipe at the Kasipepo, but is to slow and the Kasipepo dives under the swing and punches the Jägerbar in the side, causing her to jump in pain. The cheetah proceeds to use his smaller frame to punch the bear many times in the stomach while avoiding her flailing arms, but eventually a swipe across the face causes the Kasipepo to fly backwards. The Jägerbar recovers faster and lumbers forward, grabbing the Kasipepo by the legs and trying to induce pain by giving his legs a bear hug. But, much like how the Hadosheru had it's eyes clawed out, the Kasipepo manages to deeply claw the back of the Jägerbar's knees, causing them to collapse as the bear howls in pain. The Kasipepo places his claws at the throat of the injured Jägerbar and draws blood; but no killing blow is necessary. Victory to the Kasipepo.
Koschie vs. Höllentier
|“||The toxins the Höllentier suffered in his previous fight effected him, but not enough to hinder his fighting. He made sure the Koschie couldn't touch him so he never got infected with any radiation. The Höllentier punched the Koschie a few times before tackling him. He used his teeth to bite the throat of the Koschie before the Koschie infected him with radiation.||”|
Hässlich vs. Hexenbiest
|“|| Hexenbiest does not look happy at the late scheduling of this fight.
Much to the dismay of some elements in the crowd she is already woged. In recognition of his status as a Reaper, Hässlich is armed with his scythe. Hexenbeist has refused the offer of a sword and shield and elected to arm herself with a small dagger. As Hässlich advances she nonchalantly tosses the dagger in his general direction, not throwing it as one does a throwing knife, but parallel with her body in a high looping arc. As Hässlich advances Hexenbiest stands very still, and the dagger twists in the air and seems to speed up. Hässlich is not looking at the dagger as he advances towards her. Suddenly the dagger speeds up and heads straight for his throat, too late Hässlich realizes that she is using her telekinesis, because he is not close enough to break her concentration he attempts to deflect the dagger with his scythe. The dagger easily evades the flailing scythe and plunges into his throat. Hexenbiest takes up the scythe and beheads Hässlich.
Jinnamuru Xunte vs. El Cucuy
|“|| The battle was over nearly immediately. The Jinnamuru Xunte was not nearly quick enough to harm the El Cucuy, and before it could even react it was lying on the ground, unwoged, with its throat viciously ripped to shreds. El Cucuy continues on to the next round.
Siegbarste vs. Mordstier
|“|| After much coaxing, replacing a destroyed cage, and several spectators getting life-flighted out, our Siegbarste agreed to participate in the quarterfinals today. His opponent would be a fair match this time, a Mordstier.
The Mordstier sized up the Siegbarste, dashed his hooves on the ground, and his eyes glowed red. The Siegbarste stomped on the ceramic tiles that were below him until he had stomped on them (now they are more crumbled than tile-shaped) and grew a beard.
The Mordstier charged at the Siegbarste. Anticipating this, the Siegbarste held his fist in front of him, hoping to stop the Mordstier. Little did he realize that the Mordstier is made of the same tough stuff he is. Breaking the Siegbarste's hand, the Mordstier retreated a few inches for his next move-- a blow to the shoulder. The Siegbarste used his other hand to catch the descending hoof and knocked his head against the Mordstier's. The Mordstier, thinking quickly, had retracted his horns for a moment, turned his head, and stabbed the Siegbarste in the eye as he grew them back out. Writhing in pain, the Siegbarste backed up his his hands over his bleeding face.
The Mordstier made his final charge at the stomach, and the victor was the only one left living.
Murciélago vs. Schakal
|“|| Welcome to tonight's opening match.
As you all know this match will pitch the Murciélago against the the Schakal. Just after they enter the arena Schakal takes his ushanka hat from his jacket and quickly puts it on. He then turns to Murciélago and smiles. The referee signals the start of the match and Murciélago is only able to start her shriek before her voice box is in Schakal jaws, and her shriek turns into a gargling sound. As evidenced from the bleeding of unprotected ears in the audience, Schakal's trick with the hat worked. (un?)Fortunately there were no audience fatalities.
|“||This match was a real crowd pleaser. The drugged Grimm faced a Pflichttreue, and the Grimm's natural combat skills were weighed by his foggy mind, creating a very even match. After sharing many even blows, the clear-minded Pflichttreue's agility, quickness, and his teeth and claws enabled him to gain the upper hand, and after knocking the breath out of the Grimm, he was able to deliver a hard blow to the side of the head, rendering the Wesen-killer unconscious.||”|
|“|| Everyone watching assumed this fight was over before it started, but what they didn't know was the Steinadler snuck scissors into the cage with him.
Even bringing scissors with him didn't help. He never got a chance to try to cut the Wildesheer's hair as the Wildesheer proved to be too strong and powerful for him to handle. The Wildesheer didn't want the fight to end too fast, so he got hits on the Steinadler, getting him to collapse to the ground, and stood up to get the crowd going. Then he would repeat three more times before ending the fight. The Steinadler was already knocked out from being hit too much, but the Wildesheer went in for the kill and ripped off an arm and both legs of the Steinadler, as well as tearing up his throat. He proceeded to throw the body parts into the Wesen crowd for them to hungrily feast upon.
|“|| The Nuckelavee's lawyer managed to offer a large sum of money to allow him a resting day.
The Nuckelavee and Dickfellig face one another, sizing each other up. In this match, one wrong move could end the life of either Wesen, since both are so powerful.
The Nuckelavee lands the first punch, but wait-- the Dickfellig catches it and throws one back, which the Nuckelavee dodges. It this melee fight, several minutes passed, each contender having his ups and downs, before the Nuckelavee ripped the Dickfellig's horn from his nose and stabbed him in the eye with it.
The Nuckelavee will advance to the Sweet Sixteen.
|“||Despite not having a resting day, the Cracher-Mortel made this a quick fight. He caught the Hundjäger off guard by spitting right away and with perfect accuracy. The Hundjäger fell to the ground holding his face and the match was awarded to the Cracher-Mortel because it was determined the Hundjäger was done.||”|
|“|| Wow, What a fight.
This was not a fight for lovers of blood, but for the aficionados of the historical traditions of the games. I start my commentary with Naiad being led to the arena, he looks very dejected and is moving sluggishly. His frame of mind is understandable, since the conversations in the combatants quarters yesterday were about what fish recipe the Wendigo was going to cook this evening, coupled with the fact that Wendigo has had full rest, I think Naiad was already resigned to his fate. The announcer then informed the crowd the one of the ancient Roman Gladiators — a retiarius — was based on a fisherman, so they were going to arm Naiad with a casting net and a trident. Naiad looked up as they gave him the items as they were named, with a confused look on his face. Naiad was so confused that he tried to take the net with his right hand and the trident with his left. one of the Löwen showed him the correct way to wield the weapons. When Wendigo was announced, Naiad went and sat down at the far side of the arena and studied his trident and net. Wendigo walked in signing autographs and discussing recipes with the crowd, he spent so long with his fans that the Löwen eventually had to taze a few of his fans and drag him to the arena. Wendigo was offered a weapon, but to the delight of his fans, he woged and picked at his teeth with his claws. As the arena door was shut and Wendigo advanced Naiad stood up, in a peculiar stance holding the trident in his left hand tines downward (did he not understand when the Löwen explained the use of the weapons to him?) and the net in his right at a 45 degree angle to the advancing Wendigo. The two closed and suddenly Naiad flicked the net at Wendigo's right knee causing him to stumble and emit a cry of pain (that net has lead weights around its edges). As Wendigo caught his balance Naiad moved to a position where he could apply the same treatment to Wendigo's left knee. Wendigo then started to running towards Naiad, who crouched on one knee and aimed the trident directly at him. At the last moment Wendigo dodged and attempted to slash Naiad, only for Naiad to entwine his leg in his net and trip him up. Naiad swiftly yanked the net away before the surprised Wendigo could snatch it form him. As Wendigo was getting to his feet Naiad flicked the net at Wendigo's kidneys. What followed was one of the most masterful displays retiarius combat that I have ever witnessed. Every move Wendigo made was met by either a blow from the net or the prospect of impaling himself on the trident. After several minutes with Wendigo now covered in bruises, Naiad actually cast the net, enmeshing Wendigo and with a quick jerk of the nets retaining rope Wendigo was on the floor. In the action of jerking Wendigo to floor Naiad himself pivoted about the waist and as he withdrew his right hand his left holding the trident was thrust into Wendio's abdomen, and just as rapidly withdrawn. Naiad then ran half way round Wendigo further entangling him in the net and struck him in the abdomen from the other side. Naiad completed the circle round Wendigo and struck Wendigo with the trident a third time killing him. I have since learned that the net and trident are the cultural weapons of the Naiads and to be recognized as a warrior in their society one must be proficient in their use.
|“||What an interesting match this was. The Aswang tried to use its long prehensile tongue to strangle the Fuchsteufelwild, but the Fuchsteufelwild managed to slice the tongue off of its neck without stabbing himself, causing the Aswang to wail in pain and scramble to the top of the cage, where it let out an ear-splitting shriek rivaling that of a Geolterblitz. The Fuchsteufelwild tried cutting a few of the bars in half in order to cause the cage to collapse, but a group of Löwen angrily aimed tazers and pistols at the devilish Wesen and shouted at it to stop. This distraction led the Aswang to attempt a sneak attack onto the back of the Fuchsteufelwild, causing it to flail wildly as it was being choked. Unfortunately for the Tagalog Terror, the Fuchsteufelwild managed to send one of its dripping long claws straight through the eye of the Aswang, ending the match.||”|
Mauvais Dentes vs. Taureus-Armenta
|“|| Late last night, the Mauvais Dentes faced the Taureus. Inflicted with a deadly poison, the Taureus wasn't performing up to par.
The Mauvais Dentes produces a red cloth, and assumes the role of matador. Insulted, the Taureus charges at him, but he leaps out of the way in time. In fact, he leapt so high he was able to grab hold of the bars above him and cling to them.
The Mauvais Dentes laughed for a moment victoriously before pouncing back downward, whereupon he became brutally impaled by the Taureus's horn.
The Taureus is not expected to live past the 29th, but will advance onto the Sweet Sixteen.
Sweet Sixteen (March 27-28)
Klaustreich vs. Skalenzahne
|“|| Welcome to the second weekend of our tournament.
Local favorite Skalenzahne, Dimitri Skontos has, as expected fully recovered from his previous two fights, with the scars merely adding to marks on his arms and body. His ankle is back to its normal operation. Klaustreich, who does not have the rapid healing of his opponent is in far worse shape, with his cuts barely sealed. Klaustreich leaps at Dimitri, claws extended only for Dimitri to sidestep the leap and punch him in the kidneys as he passes. Dimitri then charges the stunned Klaustreich and with a single punch to the head knocks him unconscious.
|“||During the few days between matches, the Yaguaraté recovered mightily from his injuries while the Kasipepo only got worse. It turned out he had broken both legs and 3 broken ribs while also suffering from many bruised ribs. The Yaguaraté took advantage of feeling nearly 100% and took care of business very fast to advance to the Elite 8.||”|
Höllentier vs. Hexenbiest
|“||With the Höllentier still in increasingly excruciating pain from the Shnabeltiermörder's venom, the Hexenbiest had the clear advantage. And she took it. Concentrating her attention on the Höllentier's mace, she used some sort of telekinetic energy to do him in with it. This champion will make for a VERY interesting last several rounds, if this is any sign of how she will do against the more formidable foes!||”|
El Cucuy vs. Mordister
|“|| Bull headed re-defined.
Mordstier and El Cucuy cautiously circled each other for a couple of minutes before Mordstier charged at El Cucuy who sidestepped and slashed at his side as he passed. Much to her surprise, not only did the slash did not end the fight, it did not even break the skin. While El Cucuy was examining her broken claws, Mordstier wheeled round and butted El Cucuy causing her to fold in the middle. Mordstier then tossed her into the air, rapidly spinning round to catch her on his head for another toss. He repeated this maneuver twice more before letting El Cucuy fall face down onto the arena floor. When El Cucuy fell unconscious is unknown, but after a couple of kicks to the head she most certainly was unable to fight.
Schakal vs. Pflichttreue
|“|| A Classic encounter.
Schakal having heard about Pflichttreue's close combat abilities kept his distance so Pflichttreue used his speed and agility to dodge the swinging arms of Schakal, without striking back. Eventually the error of Schakal's game-plan was revealed when he began to tire in contrast to Pflichttreue. After one wild swing Pflichttreue grabbed Schakal's arm and by continuing his momentum slammed him into the arena bars knocking him unconscious.
|“||The fight between the Nuckelavee and the Wildesheer has been quite an epic one. Lasting a good fifteen minutes, over 200 punches were thrown, 70 kicks, and 5 headbutts. The Wildesheer seemed unshaken when he finally knocked out the Nuckelavee and proceeded to scalp him. The Nuckelavee, however, took quite a beating. The Wildesheer will be pitted against the winner of the Schakal vs. Plichttreue match on Sunday.||”|
|“||The Cracher-Mortel paid a large amount of money to have someone to drain all the water from the tank the Naiad was using to stay hydrated. Because of this, the Naiad came to the fight in pretty bad shape and had nowhere to go. The Cracher-Mortel walked around the cage while the Naiad panicked while waiting for he Cracher-Mortel to spit. He faked the Naiad out a few times before finally landing the winning blow (spit) advancing him to the Elite 8.||”|
|“|| Another total mis-match.
Fuchsteufelwild walked into the arena while Taureus-Armenta shuffled painfully into the arena. At the signal to begin Taureus-Armenta charged, I say charged, but hobbled fairly slowly would be more accurate, at Fuchsteufelwild while his back was turned. Fuchsteufelwild span round and sidestepped the shuffling Taureus-Armenta, tripping him up and planting his boot in his rear end as he passed. This caused Taureus-Armenta to land face first on the arena floor knocking himself out. The Fuchsteufelwild progresses without having to woge or break sweat.
Elite Eight (March 29-30)
|“||After some small delays, the match finally got under way. It looked like the Skalenzahne was a much more experienced fighter, or at least in this kind of environment. He used the cage to his advantage whenever the Yaguaraté tried lunging at him, causing the Yaguaraté to crash into the bars repeatedly, eventually leading to a minor concussion. While the Yaguaraté was recovering from one of the many crashes, the Skalenzahne took advantage and used its jaws to land a killing bite to the Yaguaraté's throat to become the first fighter advancing to the Final 4.||”|
Hexenbiest vs. Mordstier
The Hexenbiest surprised several of us in the later rounds, but she faces the Mordstier today. We saw how she handled the Minotaur last week. The Mordstier has at least an idea of her tactics, and has opted against bringing a weapon against her.
The Hexenbiest, however, has brought a saber.
Tossing it at the Mordstier violently, guiding it telekinetically, she anticipates an early victory. However, the Minotaur knocks it off course before it can meet its target, and charges for her. Helpless, the Hexenbiest is gored by the horns.
|“|| Another boxing match?
When both fighters were in the arena Pflichttreue took up a classical boxing stance and threw a couple of practice punches in Wildesheer's direction. Wildesheer, looked confused and then started swinging with his own punches. What followed was a very odd match where neither boxer managed to hit his opponent. Wildesheer;s punches, due to his size, were telegraphed so that the speedy Pflichttreue could evade most of the blows and Pflichttreue's own punches kept missing Wildesheer's head. After about 50 of these missed punches had been traded Wildesheer began to noticeably weaken and Pflichttreue slipped behind him, grabbed a large hank of his hair and seemed to punch near the hair, except that all could see that he used his claws to cut the hair. After the removal of two more hanks of hair Wildesheer collapsed to the ground. Examination of the tapes revealed that on most of punches near Wildesheer's head Pflichttreue flicked his claws though Wildesheer's hair cutting a lock or two each time.
|“||The spectators weren't sure how this fight would go. It all depended on whether the Fuchsteufelwild was faster with his nails or if the Cracher-Mortel was faster with his tetradotoxin spit. It actually turned out to be the former, but the only problem is the Fuchsteufelwild had his once chance to get the win, but the Cracher-Mortel actually manged to dodge the Fuchsteufelwild's nails and gave him a dosage of tetradotoxin to the face to advance to the final 4.||”|
Final Four (April 5)
Skalenzahne vs. Mordstier
|“|| Two very durable Wesen faced off in this Final Four match, both pulling off large upsets in order to reach this stage. I'm sure very few expected these Wesen to advance over the ones they defeated. However, one Wesen will not be making it out of this cage alive. Begin!
The Mordstier charges straight at the Skalenzahne, using his immense mass and long horns to try and gore the scaled Wesen. But the Skalenzahne is a veteran in the cage, and easily tumbles out of the way, tripping the bull Wesen into the bars and getting his horns lodged between them. Taking advantage of the temporarily incapacitated Wesen, the Skalenzahne beats the bull over the shoulder and back repeatedly until it is kicked hard in the chest. By quickly woging in and out of his Wesen form, the Mordstier is able to dislodge himself and turn to face the scaled Wesen. They both charge, the Mordstier running horns lowered while the Skalenzahne keeps his stance low, avoiding the horns by inches and grabbing the Mordstier form the side. They grapple with each other, trying to find a hold or any form of leverage to turn the tables in their favor. In the end, the Mordstier's superior strength allows him to shrug off the Skalenzahne and then grab and throw him against the bars. A loud breaking noise is heard, and the Skalenzahne groans weakly. The crocodile holds his ribs in pain, and his eyes flash in fear before they go blank when the Mordstier kicks his head into the bars. That's the final—and possibly fatal—blow.
Pflichttreue vs. Cracher-Mortel
|“||A speedy match, the Pflichttreue wasn't able to dodge the first blow. A likely defeat of an unlikely opponent made the fans laugh, though the other match is more highly anticipated.||”|
3rd Place Match (April 7)
|“||Despite the fact that the Skalenzahne and the Pflichttreue both lost in the Final 4, it was determined by the fans and the judges that a 3rd place winner needed to be determined. Because replacements could not be found in time, there was no fight so a voting system was used. With a result of 57% to 43% the Skalenzahne was determined as the 3rd place fighter and the Pflichttreue was 4th.||”|
Championship Match (April 7)
|“|| Welcome fight fans to the Championship Bout.
As you all know this match will be between the Cracher-Mortel and the Mordstier. The Löwen have announced that because the tickets for this match were being sold for several hundred dollars a pair, that the Mordstier will be equipped with a face shield, which will fall off if he woges his head, (or if Cracher-Mortel pulls it hard) due to the construction of the head strap. The announcer explains that this should ensure an lengthy fight as neither Mordstier's butt or Cracher-Mortel's spit will end the fight in a few seconds. Both combatants warily circle each other before Cracher-Mortel suddenly reverses direction and spits towards the eyes of Mordstier. The green goo, lands on the face shield and Cracher-Mortel rushes towards his temporarily blinded opponent, by jerking his head backwards Mordstier is able to see the onrushing Cracher-Mortel and is able to dodge the charge, and grab Cracher-Mortel's arm. Mordstier then helped him into the bars with a kidney punch. While Cracher-Mortel was catching his breath and turning round, Mordstier wiped the goo off his visor using his jacket sleeve. The antagonists then circled each other again and this time Mordstier advanced towards Cracher-Mortel and once in kicking range launched a standing kick, which was easily dodged by Cracher Mortel who took advantage of his adversary's ungainly stance to try and snatch the face shield from his head. Mordstier had recovered from the kick much quicker than expected and was able to prevent the attempt while landing a punch on Cracher-Mortel's head. This sparked the trading of body punches with neither combatant able to land a decisive blow. The Löwen then called a time out (enforced by electric cattle prod and tazer) and declared that they did not want a boxing match.
Round 2 follows after the sale of souvenirs.
|“|| And now for Round 2.
In order to make for some actual gladiatorial combat, both fighters have been allowed their own choice of weapon (within limits, I hear that a sub-machine gun and a an automatic rifle were originally requested), Cracher-Mortel has selected his cane, and Mordstier has selected a large two-headed axe.
The combatants enter the ring and once again circle the arena, both swinging their weapons. After several feints from each participant in which Mordstier is struck several times by the cane, and Cracher-Mortel narrowly avoids the ponderous axe. Mordstier suddenly leaps forwards swinging his axe like scythe before him, as he approaches Cracher-Mortel nimbly skips out of the way and as the axe is at the extreme end of its left arc strikes the back of Mordstier's right knee causing him to stumble and his axe strikes the ground. Rapidly Cracher-Mortel reveals that his cane is a sword-stick and stabs at Mordstier with a fencing lunge. Mordstier realizing his peril has woged and so the light blade bends against his armored skin. This causes his face shield to fall to the ground as the headstrap breaks. Mordstier has recovered control of his axe and throws it at Cracher-Mortel, who seeing the uncovered face of Mordstier woges and spits green goo towards Mordstier's unprotected face. Mordstier's axe strikes Cracher-Mortel under the chin decapitating him, while the goo strikes Mordstier full in the face causing him to collapse. After the ministrations of a Fuchsbau armed with a Piqure-Gigantesque, Mordstier is declared the winner.
The organizers would like it noted that since the Cracher-Mortel had no head, that this was the only way to have a winner.