User blog comment:Jmelnick/Episode Details/@comment-1966944-20120511075237

Both stories have good ideas and make sense within the Grimm/Wesen world but you need to provide much more compelling and emotional storytelling in your presentation and have the characters converse with each other. Would you watch a Grimm episode where the writer just came on screen and read to us the script? It would be boring. We watch because of the compelling action and emotions of the story and characters.

Grimm has the advantage of providing that with the actors and atmospheric filming. A writer has to spell it all out in more detail for the reader, even if that reader is totally aware of the Grimm mythology.

Right at the end of Horn of Death, after you had Juliette drink the potion Nick says "Have you ever heard of Grimm?" Now you finally had a character converse with another character and it was a great way to end the story and picque the reader's interest like what happens next? Is Nick going to finally tell Juliette he is a Grimm? If he does, will she understnad or will the potion make her think its all a dream?

In Lets Make a Deal, I like the idea of the Wesen Mental Hospital and would have like to have seen much more detail about that place. What kind of other Wesen is there and why? It also would have been intersting to have Monroe come out of his Komatos earlier so he could of interacted and made comments about the other Wesen patients.

Its great that you had Rosalee admit her love for Monroe but it happened too fast, better to build up to that revelation. Also, why not have Monroe accidentally ingest the Selenform instead of just "see" it and have it "bring" back memories? That would seem more "natural".

Either way, I like the research you put into these stories.