User blog comment:Roacher26/The Boy and the Herdsman/@comment-1966944-20120508003529

This is an excellent plot line and better than a few actual Grimm episodes. However, it still reads as a plot line. You need to "Show not tell". For example, you say the boy was beat by his Mother but was too scared to tell his father. Show the boy's emotions as he was being beat and how he hid the marks from the beatings from his father. Something like, "His head reeled in pain and fear gnawed within his mind as his Mother slapped him hard across his face while the blood seeped from the cuts and splattered across his shirt." On a TV show the writers don't have to show anything in prose because they obviously can show you on the screen but a written story is different. That way your readers can become more emotionally involved with your characters. Anyway, just a suggestion. In the long run any way you decide to write it is fine because its your story.